Documentary History of the State of New York, Vol. II

I own disturb me -- I am sensible Gov^. Shirley has in many respects been an active and a useful serv^ to the Crown -- his rank in public Life will natturally give him consequence and gain him Influence. Were I to lay open in a particular manner the whole scene of my Conduct with regard to the public & him, and from the Papers & Letters in my possession to contrast his conduct with regard to the Disputes between us. I say were I to do this & any one should think it worth their while calmly to peruse & impartially to examine the full state of the Affair between us, I would rest Character, Fortune, & Life upon the Decision -- but I apprehend, unless I am properly called upon to do this, such a voluminous appeal would not find either leisure or Patience from; those Persons to read it &, consider it whose opinions would be of the greatest Consequence, they would rather I believe think me Impertinent & too full of my own Importance.

Therefore my present address on this Subject to your Lordships is to entreat you will at least receive those accusations against me w^h. I suspect akeady are or will be transmitted by Gov. Shirley, with a suspension of your Judgment. If your Lordships are disposed to have the whole amply laid before you, & I live to receive y' commands, they shall be obeyed with all possible dispatch.

In the mean time I beg leave to declare to your Lordships with the most unfeigned Sincerity as I did to the late Genera,! Braddock-- that my only motives for accepting the Commission & powers he conferred upon me, were to serve my King & my Country at this important crisis. I stipulated with him for no reward for myself -- and whatever Expectations I might indulge they were never equal to the fatigue nor the Disadvantages to my private Fortune w<=h.